On the mend....

These past few days have been a bit of a roller coaster ride emotionally and physically.  The feeling you have after something like this happens is nothing I would ever wish upon anyone but it also has changed my life in some ways for the better.  I know that what I went through was awful for me but others have been through much worse and I was very lucky in the outcome of my certain situation.  I have had moments where I shudder at the thought of the could have been scenarios but quickly push those aside and focus on how I can best move forward.
I read a quote just the other day that struck a chord with me

"Love the people who never look at their schedule when you need them"

This is exactly what I feel for all of you wonderful friends and family I have out there who have been there all hours of the day or night for me through this bummer of a situation.  I know that all of you have such demanding schedules and the times to Skype with me are not ideal for the working person but so many of you have made it happen with out me even asking.  All the emails of encouragement have given me extra strength too.  I have felt surrounded and loved even though I am so far away.  For that I thank each and everyone of you.

Timea and I... beachside

Now back in Nice... I have also been blessed with the most amazing family here who have become great friends and I could not have gotten through this with out.  Since the morning after it all went down Zdenka has been by my side with anything I could need.  Again...I don't even have to ask and she has just been there.  Anywhere I have needed to go whether it was the police station to file the report, the shop to buy a new camera or making a phone call from her phone there was never even a question she was right there.  She has been my french translator, coffee provider and just all around wonderful company to spend time with.  We have spend the majority of the past few days just walking around town, chatting at her place and sitting at the beach.  Her youngest daughter Timea has been a bright spot in my life too.  Nothing makes you smile like a precious little 9month old.  She has been battling a double ear infection which has been a bit rough but there were still a lot of smiles.  I mean...come on...look at that cute little face.  Even wearing big brothers shirt and a make shift hat out of a receiving blanket she is pretty stinkin' cute!
All in all I am on the mend for sure.  American customer service has been so great and they have all been very sympathetic to my situation letting my mom take care of a lot of phone calls stateside so I don't have to.  Everything has been canceled and reissued.  I will not have a phone for the duration of the trip but hey that means no phone bill...there is always a silver lining to everything right.  I still have to make a few purchases to replace some of the lost items but that is fine.  Physically I am good...all the bruises and cuts are healing and I will be grateful when they are gone so I don't have them as a reminder.  Emotionally each day is different...well really each moment is different.  I am more aware of my surroundings for sure and feel like I am constantly on high alert.  I know this is good but I am going to have to find that middle ground where the heightened awareness feel more comfortable and apart of me instead of something that causes me anxiety like it does now.  I have been following the advice of my brother and one of his friends who said "You gotta walk like your pissed off Sara"  I would love to see what my face looks like when I am walking down the road.  I wonder if I am convincing as a pissed off person.
The hardest part I think is the small bit of trust in others I have lost.  Unfortunatly because of the situation not being just a grab and run and it being someone I had actually chatted with I will have a slightly less trusting approach when I meet new people in the future.  This may end up being a really great thing for me but for now it feels like I lost a bit of myself.  Sometimes part of us has to break to be built up better and stronger.  I am thankful my "Green Book"  is still safely with me and I can reread the words you all wrote and remember what this trip is about. I am here to grow and explore.  Sometimes that is enjoying a beautiful view or coffee with a friend and sometimes it's getting trapped on a bus or mugged in the street.  Whatever happens you gotta roll with it and find the good.  I'm working on finding the good and the beauty and am thankful I have been surrounded by so much of it!

Nice at dusk